Nite i like dying!!!

   Last nite, after i update blog.. I been attack again wit HYPERVENTILATION.. About 20 min. Thanx God i still alive..

The most important is my family dont knw about it.. Only azema knw.Coz i sms her.. last nite is all happen coz i so tired n  stress.. Mybe nw i cnt be stress.. huhuhuhu.. I have to control my breath so cant be happen again. thanx god i can relax back to normal..Thanx to azema.. She give me a support.. 

Last nite i Stress coz i dont get kplspm n i feel so down.. huhuhu
I feel my time not long.. So i wan to thanx everyone n say sorry.. LOVE U ALL...

Y??? Mybe i really cnt become a teachers...

I just check kplspm... i dont get interview... tht y wat i said to my parents i really cnt teach.. Nw i really no luck la.. Its shw tht.. I not sure wheter i eppy about it o sad about it...

I juat blur.. Wat i knw my cousin get it.. Congrate dear.. but i dont like the sound of my aunty said..
"Oh, mek tak dpt eh?"
it so sound pity n 'perli'..
I knw la tht i stupid.. SO??? No need be like tht.. I knw u cre.. But not in this way.. I dah cukup rendah diri..
Pleaz jgn jdkan keyakinan diri yg i bina blik mse kat kem plkn HILANG!!!!PLEEAAZZZ.. I begging u..

Mybe u not notice it.. I just wan a peace live.. I knw myself.. I knw tht i Stupid!!! so no need to be like insult me. Yeah.. I a big loser!!! i just hope one day i will be better person.. I really thanx all my fren they support me more than my own family.. Thanx fren.. Love u all...

He so sweet!!!

SOOOO SWEEETTT.....

Nw i really love him so much... Nvr thought he so sweet n romantic.. Lately he say so many sweet thng.. We chat about hw we going to date.. He say tht he want a romantic date just only us. He argue wit me about dating.. I wan to spend a day wit him while walking around n at restaurant but he just wan we date at sweet place.. He say if i tired, he will drive around.. He wan  a privacy.. He also say that he jealous hear his fren dating.. hehhehe.. My hubby so sweet.. The best thng is he sayy tht he will give me a romantic date on our first date so tht we can remember it 4ever..

I told him tht i wan to buy hp. He angry wit me said dont buy any hp. He say tht he going to buy me one.. hehhehe.. I feel like 'pisau cukur' but he say tht ur my wife so i can buuy u anythng i wan.. I crazy ask him wat hp he wan to buy 4 me. Then he say Blackberry.. Ya Allah.. Crazy expensive.. But i hope i can buy by myself..

At 4.a.m. today.. he sent me a sweet sms.. It just simple but 4 me so sweet..

If Life Is About To Live,
Then Love is About The Life,
I Love The Way I Love You
And Love The Way I Live 
This Live With You..

Suck n Not trust??

My life since little make trouble 4 evryone... I having a lot sickness.. Evrythng tht i wan almost i buy wit my saving money.. I really think tht i actually indipendent.. Just in front of my family i pretend.. They actually dont knw the real me.. Thy think tht i so 'ngada2' n 'gedik'.. Pleazzz... it really shw thy dont anythng about me.. Truth i more close to my fren.. evrythng i story 2 my fren.. Thanx fren 4 always here wit me...

About my hubby.. the truth i dont knw 2 trust him o i afraid loss him..  I really dont knw.. Nw i really love him but i prevent love him more.. I scared mybe he just 4 a moment in my life o he lie to me... Mybe he correct tht we still not meet.. tht y hard 2 trust... He dont knw i have scandal n bf..
Mybe much better 2 keep it secret..  I dnt want anyone hurt... Just i hurt its k.. I usually being hurt by many people..

I really nw knw hw feed bck to people make me hurt.. mybe I from my last experince.. My fren teach me to fight back... She correct.. Coz this is my life.. No want can say anythng o do anythng..

Mybe my standard school is suck.. Coz i so stupid just follow wat people say.. No truth fren.. thanx to fren tht always wit me.. Nw She at bottem i at top.. C nw fren who is better.. Soorrryy to say nw u suck than me bitch!!! To my best fren.. I love u Dear.. thanx...

WOW!!! i nvr thought of tht...

Wat the hell!!!!!!!!! today someone proposed me....

MY NS fren... He indian boy... Wen i ask about his mum.. He already story wit his mum about me.. Crazy lor... I nie too kind ke???  until Many guy proposed me... wat the heck!!!!!

I still thinking about it.. I already have a hubby, scandal.. Nw bf????? OMG!!!!

Wat should i do?????

Crazy day!!!

Since long i not post anythng at fb.. Busy.. hehehe... My hubby become so romantic... He just afraid i leave him.. hahahaha...

Nw i ask someone to knw about him,, Nw i waiting 4 him.. He on call.. huhuhuh... So my advise dont find as doctor if u need love n caring from a guy... hahahaha... If u like, wat can do.. Become like me la.. Boring always....

Fb nw crazy, jam, stuck... AARRGGGHHH!!! y nw babe... huhuhuhu

LOVESTORY O MIND ONLY!!!

2day... i went 2 see dentist.. so hurt lor... ngilu!!!  


N About my hubby... I nw feel that i do love him... mybe b'cause his cousin hurt me n my fren that y I wan to revenge to him.. Nw wen i think it back.. wen he ask me honestly n tell wat i dont knw.. I think nw i move on n carry on but see wat going to happen in future... All depend to Allah... If I fated with him then nothing more i can do.. If not sorry hubby...


Rite nw i take my aunt advice.. Study first.. U knw him better... If u feel safe wit him go on..


That all 4 rite nw...

My sad love story!!!

2day.. My scandal go to Melaka again.. so we going to be less contact... Then my hubby lak.. he asking me whether i trully love him o not. Serius wot him o not.. I just say YES!!! I wan him to feel wat i feel.. Broken heart... NW he worry... he afraid i'll leave him..

I dont knw wat to do... All my fren say leave him... my family not like him... I dont knw wat to do.. Actually i afraid to trust guy n guy's word.. I FOBIA wit guy's word.. they never be truth... hhhmmmm SO IN DILEMA!!!

2 days 1 Night..

This 2 days i at Melaka... I join Educational fair.. UITM... Nothing special.. but okey 4 who need more information about course that they serve at diploma...

I having a liitle bit rough path wit my scandal.. sorry bee.. My hubby as usual busy wit work.. hhmmmm..

My plkn frend beung crazy cll me cyunk, yunk, n others like couple... hhmm i dont knw wat he mean.. whether he like me o just like to play wit me...

The crazy thng rite nw... I get so many love from guy... my Fren say i too caring, too sweet... I dont knw.. I just treat them as my fren.. I do care about them... mybe my way i wrong....

Be a CHEF!!!

2day... I cook tom yam... Since i get back home, just 2day i cook tom yam...

I also learn to cook 'sotong'... hehehehehe

N the result as usual.. DELICIOUS!!!! heheheh

I like 2 learn more... hehehe... Nw miss my hubby n scandal... miss my bff... Pakatan Rewang... hehehe

My usual day..

2day like crazy cause last nite I stayed up until 3 a.m.. just to fill up UPU form... Crazy that thg.. I try about 30 timess. Thanx my scandal compeny me to stayed up...

n Today i apply science kuantitative, engineering n upsi..

N my bff.. Alyani.. She treat me a kfc... Syok sey...

Thanx to my fren... Jazz.. She help me wit UPU...

2Day nothing special... Just wan to thanx to my fren n scandal who help me alot... MMUuUAAhh.. love u all...

Suck Sey!!!!!!

Nw more worst... My cousin came from her school at kl.. Then wen i say i did not notice there is a course Sek.rendah bahagian seni bina... Then my aunt say "Patut la c'hak kate kau kuat berangan" while laughig... Wat the hell...

Mybe I'm so stupid until they can say like that witout think wat i feel... Pleaz la... Mybe my face dont have any feeling... But that not mean u can say anything!!!! n My teacher from PLKN say "Dont care wat others say.. The important thing u move on be better person... Practic wat u learn in PLKN.. U still great.. The way u are.. Just make that as ur motivation"


They should give me a support.. Not make me more give up.. Nw i really feel like a LOSER... I miss my teacher... PLKN member... MISS U ALL.. I NEED U ALL RITE NW...

Sad day n Eppy

Today is like hell.. Getting the SPM result.. 4 me okey cause I still can move on in life...  But 4 my family is suck.. Especially wen my cousin all get better.. 7a n 8a... It make me so sad... Wan to cry... but I knw If I cry I most DUMB people in world... Mybe b'cause my ego... So shame wen my fren is okey n especially shame to my boyfrend..


Today also my mum knw that I have boyfren.. I wit honestly told her.. However my mum not like b'cause he is mamak(indian muslim).. I also have a scandal.. he already have a GF... I crazy rite? hehehehe..

That all 4 today... i cry alot today... that y i try to make this blog... just to make my feeling much better... hhmmmm